In Gratitude for my Love

You know its almost twenty years since Gill breezed into my life, barefoot, carrying a little green bag which contained ALL he owned!!! I thought he was utterly gorgeous..but having a relationship with him didn’t cross my mind. Not only was he a lot younger, he had a trail of young women running after him. I had only just crawled out of six years of lies and betrayal and stick insect thin and so wounded, I was adamant I would never EVER love again {famous last words!} Besides I felt so totally worthless,who on earth could love me?


Im many ways I’d dismissed Gill when i first met him. I remember thinking he was just a bush boy and by the look of that bag containing all his possessions, not going to far in life. Boy has he taught me! I had a home and goals and dreams and loads of crap that I failed to see and I didn’t even consider connecting up with someone that cruised through each day like a happy vagrant, living rough on beaches ,eating what he caught or picked. I’d actually never met anyone like Gill before and as much as I’d found him intriguing, it didn’t even occur to me he was there because he was attracted to ME!!!

Now Im not going to tell you all the crazy, miraculous, inexplicable events that occurred to bring us together. You’ll be reading my book early next year. But what I want to say is, you don’t have to be a perfect being to attract love. You don’t have to be healed, whole or emanating purple light. Ok Im gonna suggest you have at least stepped on your own healing path and that your not sitting fermenting in anger and hate, thats really NOT an attractive doesn’t matter if you still feel those things as long as your willing to keep moving through them as you heal.

So I ran as fast and as furiously as I could from this perfectly gorgeous DREAM COME TRUE man that had turned up in my life rather unexpectedly. Give me a break, it was only a few weeks after my last partner had left. I’d barely had time for a breather! And there is a common thread in my life when I tell you that i fought and kicked and struggled and finally so exhausted I had no other choice but to let go, I then found myself in a reality that was a soothing balm for the wounds I still had. Im still slow to get that life flows when I let go!

My Gill and I call him my Gill, not in a possessive, ownership way, but because thats who he is, my love, my man, my rock, my bestest ever friend, but in those early days of connecting, I had no inkling we would still be together decades later and still so in love.

Yes I soon found myself sleeping like a vagrant on the beach with my new love and it was heaven. Laying under the stars hearing the gentle lap of the Coral sea as it shimmied up the beach, wrapped up in Gills strong arms, no need for words, no need to explain why just as I had begun to feel safe with him, all my fears had risen and I’d panicked and wanted to run and what did he do when I let all my fears fall like an avalanche on top of me, he held me close, he rocked me like a baby and he helped me heal my pain. He listened, oh boy did he listen! He didn’t judge and he let me tell my story until it ran dry. I didn’t need to tell it anymore.
People ask me, How can I attract a love like that? I often answer, Lock all your gates, draw up your bridges, secure all your moats and prepare to bunker down . When your love comes nothing is going to stand in their way.  Your not going to miss them because you forgot to turn your mobile on . The magnetic pull between you and your love is so strong, the earth will conspire to unite you, so stop looking for love in every person you meet. Wait for the person thats prepared to swim the moat and scale the wall and you may end up with someone very special ,like I have!

Why settle for a love thats any less! Why hang on to luke warm relationships that dont touch you heart and soul, that you have to be someone else in simply to maintain them. Why settle for a lover that doesn’t honour you, that lies and cheats and tramples?

There was something else that occurred when I met Gill. I was so over living a life just about me. I was ready to embrace what I’d come onto this planet for. I wanted to walk my soul path, whatever that was. I knew I’d come onto this planet to do something..I wasn’t sure what, but I’d felt it since being a child..well bring it on! And I wasn’t even sure what I meant  by all this but my change of focus attracted Gill.

And is he my twin flame? I always shy away from labels. Twin seems to be a concept that comes from separation. If we are all one ,how can we have a twin flame ? I don’t know and I don’t care. I just give thanks for what I share with this gentle man, who seems to walk through life with little ego. He doesn’t need to be seen or even acknowledged ,much of what he gives, not just to me is done silently. And yes my wise bush boy, now matured has taught me so much about living simply on our earth ,he has helped me rid myself of all that i don’t need. He is this incredibly steady presence in my life and not only that he makes me laugh, we laugh so much.


Sharing a love like this doesn’t mean you don’t work at the challenges that arise in your relationship. Gill and I have faced ups and downs and one of the biggest breakthroughs we discovered was that when something is wrong for one of us, its more often than not a mirror image of whats happening for the other. And I say laughingly, it can sometimes be a challenge letting go of blame and being willing to face yourself.
Our love is like a plant we nurture and feed and thats why, all these years later, we are still so very much in love. I absolutely adore him, I miss him whenever we are apart. I love the life we are creating together, the way we flow so well together, the way his strengths are my weaknesses and visa versa and if anything our love has grown even stronger. We are growing and learning and discovering together and Im am so incredibly grateful for this gift!